User blog:Samantha76/I don't know what to do.

Oh, I've done it again...I've gone and been a bitch to someone. I though I was over being a troll cuz I have hobbies now and a career to pursue but now there's another reason I'm being a jerk, stuff on this site frustrate the hell out of me. Yes. I made a mean comment to the Nazi character because I hate the anatomy of the character (yes, hate it, no exaggeration) and I'm the type of person that if you got a bogie in your nose, I'm gonna tell you. The truth hurts because we never tell it so we all compliment each other and say everything's fine. I said what I did because I don't want to be a part of the yes men. I didn't sugar coat my comment because I don't have to wait...yes I DID sugar coat my comment cuz I thought much more negative stuff about that artwork! I would have teared it a new one if I was unrestrained! I would do the same for much more things on here!

"B-b-b-but Sam, the rules say to think before you post!"

Yes, I did think before I post and I had my mad mind set where bad ideas are good ones so then I posted what I did. Even with my normal mind set, I don't regret the comment but I regret the post because I know that I'm going back to my old self but for a different reason that I can't control. I can't control what people post on here and the only way for me to not see pictures/pages that make me think "WTF, do you seriously think that's good?" is to stick with my own pages.

Actually, I think that I think negatively on this site is because I don't see any characters that I like to balance out the ones I think are bad and I've got this negative opinion of everyone. That's another thing, I don't know you guys so I don't really care about you or your feelings. I only care about the feelings of my friends, family and people I admire. You guys get my bad side while my RL friends get my good side. Do you know why they get my good side? Because they have earned it, they've shown me that they are good people so I give them my respect but you guys haven't shown me any reason to respect you, in fact, you've done the opposite! I don't want to respect you guys (with a couple of exeptions but I'll keep them out of this) so you get my bitch side. I don't want to be bitchy but I can't control it, how can I make friends when I don't care about people here?

In fact, I just keep remembering when I came back and published articles, I kept getting comments for RPing. I shot them down and never got comments anymore...is that all you guys care about? Childish roleplays? I don't roleplay because I'm not 12 or a fetish enthusiast. This site is filled to the brim with RP activity, like, what?! Calm down guys, RPs are not interesting, you don't have to dedicate articles to your SOOPA CUL EJY STUREEZ and whatnot.

I don't know how to make friends on this site! I ain't RPing for crap so that's out the window, there aren't any interesting characters to compliment so cross that out...chat's dead 100% of the time, including Discord so nope...I watch a couple of people on dA but they've not posted since I've watched them...How do I make friends here? I tried to send indirect messages asking if anyone's got Splatoon2 or Overwatch to people but I've not got any reply...does that mean that no one has those two popular games or I'm just not popular enough to get engagements? Sometimes, I just think, "Why bother even trying?" I'm also a quitter as well. If things get too tough, I just want to give up. I want to make friends with you so I can have fun on here and maybe even make a significant contribution to the atmosphere.

Honestly, I'm fully aware that I'm sounding very bitchy and this is just a bad mood. You should see me when I'm proper angry, I've ended a friendship not too long ago because one of my friends done something that made me really upset and I tried to talk it out with them but they kept deflecting so I told them to f*ck off.

OK, I've just left this tab to do something else and it put me in a good mood so let me say this while I'm calm, I'm not asking for your forgiveness or for you to respect me, pity me or anything, I just want to know what I should do. I have no idea how to connect with you guys as I feel like an other on this site. How did you guys make friends on here? How can I connect with you? For now, I'll just be avoiding the activity page so I don't see anything that'll make me mad-

"Why don't you just keep your mean comments to yourself?" I hear you ask?

Well, here's the thing. It's better to give crap as opposed to holding it in as then be full of crap and then explode so then there'll be crap everywhere. Trust me, it has happened on here before and I don't want it to happen again. If you supress your anger, it'll only build up. A petty comment will escalate to a full-blown demolition if you bottle it up with other things.

If you're annoyed with me, shout at me in the comments, I insist that you do and don't hold back! Let out your frustration and help keep up the positive atmosphere that's mentioned in the rules page by letting out minor rant and calming down again as a result, I felt better doing this as I let out my frustration. If you're an admin and think that I should be punished for my rudeness, go ahead. Even now, I don't regret the harsh wording in the paragraphs above because you get to see how I truely feel and you need to see that or you won't understand the magnitude of my digruntlement. Just don't stoop down to my level or you're not gonna prove yourself better than me. I'm sorry if this made your day worse because what I ranted about involves you, if I don't vent, I would look more of a villain than I already am when I speak my mind in the future and it'll make you cry. ^ ^'

I also apologise for the length of the blog. This was only a few hours worth of thought. XD If I didn't have to leave yesterday, I would have to make a president speech for my actions as I would have carried on. O_O