Board Thread:Wiki Announcements & Issues Board/@comment-4054869-20150322055621

Some people have told me or ive heard that most people fear me, or avoid me, even to the point of saying that Im not fitting for adminship, just because of how unstable I can get. For most, I could not stop apologizing for my behavior when it came to conversation. Or when in chat I would be in able to make a quick desision and become fustraited or just simply excuse myself.

Well tonight....ive decided to be open on why I am acting the way I am. I have been though alot of....things in my 21 years of living. From sexual harassment from another student onto myself, to having to deal with a very disfuctional family, being overweight, and having to start my adult life. Pretty much, ive had a crappy life and its not going to get easier. The thing is, like most people, I have to live with most of these scars these things of the past, while every day now, I have to deal with people yelling in my ears 24/7, having to try and find ways of losing weight, while also trying to find a job i could apply for that I can do until Im well fit again.

Insecurity, lonliness, and among other things anger and rage; are what I have been going through since gradutation. Ive been scared to say the wrong thing to people, to end up ruining my life because of one slipup. Been afaid to be alone all of my life, to be stuck in a small junky horrible house, and angry because I couldnt take the steps to help myself. And it shows while Im doing my admin duties on the wiki. Which beings me to this.

Please....understand where I come from...and why I act the way I do. Ive not explained myself 100% due to well...wikia being wikia....but everyone. I love you. I love this site and everything in it. I just wish to make friends with you all and to move on from this. We are in the middle of wiki restoration from after months, maybe years of misfortune and darkness. Together we can push it back for good and make this a more friendler and vibrant wiki! 