User blog:CrusherKitty/Millie the Golden Retriever Review

Mkay, sorry you've been waiting so long, but let's do this.

"Uh... Please stop looking at me like that"   Millie the Golden Retriver

I refuse to do the info box xD

No offence to you, it's down to nothing but my laziness, but I will comment on it, so I'm not missing it out.

Nothing looks too bad right now.

'Then the abilities. Mm, that confuses me. Control over stars and the moon. Howzzat work? I mean, I'll hold out for an explanation, but right now, I be a little confused. Anyway, does this mean she can like, call down an asteroid and squish everyone? (That's actually given me a really funny mental image) But control over the moon is going a little far. This essentially means she could f*ck over the world's tides on the beaches! Also, I can't help but imagine how that would work, I find it difficult. But what would she do? Does she control when it rises, when it sets, whether it's a full moon, or a crescent, whatever. And how would that benefit her? Mm... I hold out for inventive ways to use this. You can pull this off, I just don't know how :S'

Personality
Millie is known for her temper, it is like a click of the fingers and she is already screaming her head off, '''WARNING! '''Do not upset or anger her or she may pummel you into oblivion.

The 'Don't upset the character or you'll wish you were dead' cliché.

But after her little tanturm, she shrugs it off and continues with her life, and everyone else continues with theres. (because they get used to it alot and deal with it)

'Those must be some tolerating people. I think is someone flipped their sh*t at me, I wouldn't take it, I would yell back and I am not that sort of person (At least I don't think I am).'

Millie is also humerous and caring, she fights for justice and whats right. She when is ignored with shout out the exact right phrase to make you feel guilty, and enjoys the result. Even thought it sound alittle mean, its her way of drawing attention to herself. Millie also doesn't like it when her affections are revoked as it annoys her alot. She also doen't tolorate overly friendly people, like the ones which are like "Oh I hope we can be the best of friends as soon as posible!" (If this is your character Millie will most likely take awhile to warm up to you because she hates annoying people, even though she tends to be annoying herself. But dispite this, she is one of the loyalist people you may ever meet in your life, she will keep her friends close and her enimies cowering in the corner. She is very good at using her social skills to become a very likeable person, Millie also is very obedient and will follow orders to the best of her abilities... at times. Millie also is known to be clumsy when fighting inside a room and with her rod Neon Star, this tends to happen, to the most valuble objects in the room. Millie is also very intelligent but doesn't use it to the full extend. She also is brutaly honest and exagerates alot. Also she brags when she wins fights...

'The rod again. How would she use it inside? Does it generate stars, or do they just come down and beat the sh*t out of an opponent? (OH LOOK ANOTHER HILARIOUS MENTAL IMAGE)'

Other info
Mental Conditions: Doesn't have any. As we all think...

Physical Disabilities: None or maybe she might but most likely NO

Ability Type: POWER!

Fears: Dolls, there just really creepy to her and she hates how they just stare.

Current Residence: Emerald Coast

Sexual Orientation:  Heterosexual (she likes boys)

Most people on this wiki know what heterosexuality is, you don't need to corroberate that for us.

Good Points: Loyal, Friendly,Likeable

Bad Points: Easy to anger, is annoying,low tolorance.

'If she's annoying, how is she likeable? Last I checked, annoying people are not likeable. Trust me, I know. I have one girl at school who keeps constantly wanting to give me hugs and get my attention, but I just find her extremely annoying and usually I end up setting my best friend on her, or my friend takes that on herself.'

Likes and Dislikes
Likes:  Sports (in paticular, Gear riding, snowboarding, sking, swimming, netball, football (Auzzie Rules!) Fighting, Winning, Beaches, Balls, Adventure and Making Friends.

'Did you just put brackets within brackets...? I don't think that's grammatically correct...'

Dislikes: (I'll save you and tell only the  IMPORTANT  dislikes!) Annoying people, chaos, Amy Rose ( Actually Millie HATES her!!!) and Stronger people.

I applaud you for making your character hate Amy Rose *claps*

'But I trust you say how she met her...? Anyone, I don't really see any problems here.'

Combat Related
Basic Stats (1 is weak, 10 is strong. Total can't be greater than 40.)

'Y'know, seeing Millie pop up occasionally in roleplays and such, she never struck me as the power type, but it's nice to see you pushed off my expectations. Good. :3 Powers and Abilities'

Millie controls stars and the moon, but she can't change the time of the day. She also has a rod called Neon Star that helps her to fight, she can summon it from its vapor form into a physical thing that she can hold and visa versa. She uses stars as sharp objects that can be thrown, as a boost into the air (known as Star Boost), and as a distraction. She also has great hand to hand combat skills.

'It's good to see that you made it so she couldn't change the time of day, but seeing the 'vapour form' only adds more confusion to my already completely obliterated brain (It was like that before the review, don't worry). It doesn't make any sense to me, I don't see how it can work at all...'

Fighting Style:

She uses Neon Star to hit with, uses her stars as a projectile, and her fists and feet as a direct hit, she also fights very forcfully, also as an unexpected attack where she trips the opponant with her long hair. Also she uses taunts to distract.

'She can control her hair? o.o Ah, that's a little bit weird...'

Fighting Strategy:

Millie is very stratigic when it comes to fighting, Millie has been given a very special gift, she can read opponants strategy, she can see right through their strategy and pummel them into the ground!

'Uh, I think that that is potentially a form of godmodding/metagaming. Reading a character's strategy over time and over battling is fine, but not straight off the bat. But even if you could see through a character's strategy, it would take you time to adapt to it. Also, how did she get that ability, I don't understand...'

Weakness: Her ever so long hair, she trips up on it ALL the time and this leaves her vunreble, very vunreble. She tends to trip on very fancy moves as she tends to swing her legs up and step and slip on her hair.

'I can imagine this would bring her close to death more than once, but I think she needs more weaknesses. Being clumsy in battle is all well and good, but... Eeeeh... More plz. I'm not saying make your character an Anti-Sue, God no, but just add in something else.'

(Skipping the character relationships and appearances because I don't find them interesting and I can't critisize)

History
Millie was a princess of the Kingdom called Star Kingdom. Millie grew in size and her longing to see the world below. (she lived on a floating island.) Millie's parents were very strick and never let Millie outside the castle boundaries. To add the her hatred, she had a older siste called Zahli (pronounced zaa-lee) who bossed her around all the time.Then a war broke out between The Galaxy Islands (where Millie lived) and the Kingdom below, Rosethorn Kingdom, The civillians of Rosethorn rose up and bombed the 7 islands, Millie came within the radius of one of the bombs and she died, she fell of the island (because when someone dies it drops off the islands) onto the kingdom below, The Galaxy Islands lost and the islands died and feel themself and dropped onto Rosethorn destroying both kingdoms. Millies body was somehow protected and three years later, suddenly Millie woke up in the ruins, magically physical strength was added and she had star and moon abilities. But Millie had suffered Amnesia and forgot her past completly and she had lost proper speach, she now spoke like "You...know..I..am?" Finnaly Millie came across Sonic and Tails and they gave her her speach back but not her memory of her past, and you would of suspected that a whole diffrent person had walked in the room! She also had lost her snappy personality and got it back.

'This uh... This has more than a few flaws. Let's dissect this (Put a seatbelt on your brain, because I'm about to plough it into the nearest tree).'

'So, what is this Star Kingdom? What is its culture, what are its people like, who were the rulers, what was it like? No explanation. This is the first mention of Zahli as well, who is just the Bossy Older Sister cliché. But Zahli could be removed and nothing would have changed in this backstory.'

'There is now something called 'The Galaxy Islands'? I am confused. There was no previous mention. You could develop these locations into something detailed and special, believe me. But here they just feel tacked on and disappointing. Adding culture, rulers, people and expanding this place could make it amazing. But right now, it's just... Meh. Just........... Meh.'

'Okay, so character death, I can't wait for a reasonable explanation to how they are still alive! So, when someone dies they fall off the island...? Do they like phase through the floor or something?'

'Millie's body has now been protected for three years? Where did her body drop? Where did she lie for all this time? Why was it protected, how was it protected? I just don't see anything logical. I get the fact that the Sonic Universe is not always logical sometimes, but it has some degree of believablility most of the time, that it could potentially happen in that world, but protection over a dead body does not seem like something the mystical Lords of Mobius would focus on (Yes, I don't have much clue about what I was talking about for that last bit).'

'Whhhhhhyyyyyy? Why did she get these fantastical powers, what happened, why did she wake up, why was she OK?! A bomb was dropped on her for Christ's sake! And also, bringing this up again... If she wasn't allowed out of the castle by her strict anonymous mother and father, then how was she in the bomb's radius? Unless there was a bomb dropped on the castle... Which now I think about it, I just wasted my time typing that out. Oh boy... And now I can't be bothered to go back and revise that, so it stays, whatever...'

'Next bit. Oh God... Sonic and Tails are not super powered beings. Sure, they can be occasionally, but they can't just give someone back speech. I imagine it would take ages for her to get back to the cognitive level she was at before. I also would have thought that she would have occasional flashbacks to her past life, like Shadow did at times, but whatever.'

Quotes
"I will make sure you never see another happy day again!" Before beating someone into oblivion

''"I am Millie, make sure you remember that!" ''After beating someone into oblivion

''"I can see right through you..." ''Using her awesome stratagy skills

''"LET ME GO!!!!" ''Don't hold her hostage

''"Hey look there a thing in the distance, LOOK!!!" ''Using her awesome lying skills

''"Easy pesy!" ''Getting an S rank

''"Good enough.." ''Getting an A rank

"Yeah I got an S! No wait thats a B" Getting a B rank

"Seriously!' Getting a C rank

''"D stands for 'duper lame!" ''Getting a D rank

''" OH COME ON!!!" ''Getting a E rank

'Meh. Usual stuff. Nothing to say.'

Trivia
'Ah, there we go. I'm sensing a bit of self insert here.' At least you didn't keep that choice, I would have had A LOT more to say. Oh my God you're right o.o
 * Millie has gone through only 4 changes hair getting longer, spike thingys (like Tails,) gloves and her name was once Crystal.
 * Millie's personality is slightly based of her creator's, Brenna.
 * Millie has gone through barly any changes
 * Her history has changed, it started of as she was created in a lab just like Shadow. Orignal right?
 * Millie doesn't were GLOVES unlike the canon characters

'WHAT IS LIFE?! '
 * Millie has no middle name for her propper name was a joint name, so she isnt Amelia Rose _____ Alpha. So she is just Millie Alpha. But doesn't go by it.

FINAL VERDICT.

'This character... Needs work. It just does, I'm sorry to say. The back story is barely coherent, the powers make no sense and going into combat with her is unbalanced, you have to give the other character a chance now. Her design is pretty cool, the idea behind her is just flawed. You could develop those previous locations, make them amazing, but it feels like nothing right now. '

'I give Millie a 4/10. Just try to follow my points, maybe you can work her into something more awesome.'

Also, watch out for those spelling and grammatical mistakes, I've been seeing a lot of them here.

Hope this helps.