Asonja Masenko's Week of Madness (Story)

9 AM
A loud bang and heavy vibration shook the sleeping hedgehog awake. He looked around, seeming to hide himself in the bed in confusion. "What the hell was that?!" He said to himself and got out of bed. He put on his clothing as well as his trench coat as he opened his room door, only to find a news vehicle in complete disrepair. It seemed to have crashed through his window, breaking his TV and Sofa.

He put his hands to his head, tugging at his messed up bed-hair. "WHAT THE FU-" But he was interrupted by a handsome newsman Tiger in a tuxedo who leaned next to him with a mic to his mouth, facing a cameraman(rynk?). The Tiger newsperson had that creepy wide smile, and his fangs made it worse.

"This is James McGuffin on Channel 5, reporting to you live with the poorest and most anti-social hedgehog on Mobius!" He pointed to the hedgehog with a smirk. The camera zoomed in on the two, the hedgehog's eyes in huge surprise. His bags under his eyes were completely visible at this point and the light of the sun made it really clear.

"Now tell us your name so we can put you in the record books!" James said as he put the Mic near the hedgehog's mouth. He pushed it away lightly, his eyes going back to half-closed and his right eyebrow twitched. "First of all, who are you people and how did you get into my apartment?!" The hedgehog grumbled. "I should've sworn I locked the doors..!"

James still smiled and said with his arms out. "We built a ramp, went 90 miles per hour, and arrived in your apartment without asking for clearance!" He chuckled. The camera-rynk veered the camera to the ramp at the bottom of the road and zoomed in on the skid marks. "Get a good look at those beauties!" James said, laughing.

The hedgehog looked down as well but immediately backed up as the sun got in his eyes, making him grunt in pain a little bit. The Tiger grabbed him back in to view of the camera. "Now don't be shy and tell us your name!" He said, bringing the mic to the hedgehog.

"Do you expect me to start saying these things in front of a live audience?!" The hedgehog tried explaining, flailing his arms about. "I'm gonna be judged and laughed at even though it's already been done and people can see how short and stinky I am I'M A FREAKING BEAN!" His pupils shrank as he grabbed James in his collar, pulling him close to his face. Then he quickly pulled him back, sweating and shivering. "S-sorry I freaked out there for a minute...I haven't been socially interactive for a while..."

James stood still for a moment, in mild surprise at how the hedgehog went from 0 to 60 in under 2 seconds. He tried again by asking with a hint of slyness "So is that a yes or a no on the name thing...?"

The hedgehog looked at James and then at the camera. He went up to it and turned the camera off, making the Rynk jump back for a bit. The camera-person tried to protest but the hedgehog already went back to his room, shutting and locking his door.